I have been sick for a few days and while I have been secluded inside these four small walls I call home, I have found myself thinking. I know scary! I have been thinking about who I am and what I am doing in my life... do I make a difference, am I helping others? Would anyone notice if I was gone?
I also find myself asking and looking to see that I am not alone, in life, in faith, and in situation. We all have been told that as a people we cannot survive without other human interaction. Having people around you can impact every aspect of your life. But don't we all also look for confirmation that our situation is not unique? You hear it all the time in the words, "How do you know? Have you experienced this?" With a simple, "Yes" everything about our attitude changes. We want, need and crave to be close on a deep, personal and intimate level.
So what does this mean for me? I have always said that I dare to be different because being normal is boring. But I will be the first to say that I am relieved when I hear people say, "Oh that happened to me too!" So does this mean that deep down I dare to be normal? If that is true can I really say that I am making an impact, that my life means something?
I propose that the answer is no. That within the realm of my possibilities I am not making a difference and that I will not leave an impact on this planet. I am only human and I can only aspire to be normal. However, I also propose that with God on my side guiding me through my time on this planet, I will achieve greatness. Through God I will change lives, and I will make an impact greater than I will ever fathom. But only due to the fact that God is anything but normal, He is radical, and He is on my side.
My life is His and He may shape me as He wishes.
The differences we make in life are not found by looking in the mirrors on the wall, but by looking in the mirrors of the soul (the eyes) of those lives we touch. If one is to question if their life matters, I say look into the eyes of those closest to us and ask, “Have I touched their life, have I made one day of their life better by being me.” If the answer is yes, then we can say our life matters. I can also say, "You have made my days better by simple being you"…
ReplyDeleteI love you,
Dad
I love this post! Dear Caitlyn, I think this is something I have wondered much of my life, and I love the way that you put it. We ARE small, but our smallness and lack of natural ability to do great things gives God all the more room to display his greatness and power.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited that I'll be around here in Pullman next year as an intern. Would you like to meet up sometime for lunch or dinner? I'd love to get to know you better! :)