I Do Not Know How Guys Do It

So, my awkward moment of last week contained a lunch, a professor, a clearing illness, and me asking for my first "date". Before we jump into this amazing story I want to back up and fill you in. I am applying to be a resident assistant next year. Basically I make sure the residence halls are safe and that the rules are being followed, while developing relationships and building a community on a floor. So for this position I have to take a class, and in this class we have a project that requires us to dine with a professor. We can go to any meal at any dining center, and the point is to well be entertaining to our teachers, and to get the other professors comfortable with the residence life program. Hopefully then they will opt to do study sessions and such in the residence halls.

So to the story at hand. I had decided that I wanted to ask my chemistry professor to lunch, because she seamed like a very cool person that I would be able to talk to easily. So after class I wandered to the front of my huge lecture hall and waited to speak with her. When it was my turn, well I began to get very nervous. The floor seamed to fall away. My legs began to turn to stacks of weak red jello, and I'm pretty sure that I developed a studder. Wait! I am the person who can get up in front of large groups of people and talk about anything! It doesn't matter how awkward the topic, I don't get nervous. So why did I feel like I was going to wet myself??

Well after I was able to fumble my way through asking her to lunch... she looked at me. Probably thinking, "Who is this crazy girl, and why would I want to further our conversation over lunch?" However, to my surprise, and probably yours as well, she said yes!

On to the actual meal. It went better than expected. Conversation was good, food was awful but it was the dining center. Everything went really well and there was nothing that should have made me nervous!

So now I sit here and I need to write a thank you letter. I have no idea what to say! It's almost like I am that little 8 year old kid writing a note to his crush! I feel like I am going to say something wrong and she will never talk to me again! So this is the million dollar question. I have never asked a guy out on a date because that was never my style. So guys how do you ask a girl out on a date and keep your cool while doing it?

My Impact

I have been sick for a few days and while I have been secluded inside these four small walls I call home, I have found myself thinking. I know scary! I have been thinking about who I am and what I am doing in my life... do I make a difference, am I helping others? Would anyone notice if I was gone?

I also find myself asking and looking to see that I am not alone, in life, in faith, and in situation. We all have been told that as a people we cannot survive without other human interaction. Having people around you can impact every aspect of your life. But don't we all also look for confirmation that our situation is not unique? You hear it all the time in the words, "How do you know? Have you experienced this?" With a simple, "Yes" everything about our attitude changes. We want, need and crave to be close on a deep, personal and intimate level.

So what does this mean for me? I have always said that I dare to be different because being normal is boring. But I will be the first to say that I am relieved when I hear people say, "Oh that happened to me too!" So does this mean that deep down I dare to be normal? If that is true can I really say that I am making an impact, that my life means something?

I propose that the answer is no. That within the realm of my possibilities I am not making a difference and that I will not leave an impact on this planet. I am only human and I can only aspire to be normal. However, I also propose that with God on my side guiding me through my time on this planet, I will achieve greatness. Through God I will change lives, and I will make an impact greater than I will ever fathom. But only due to the fact that God is anything but normal, He is radical, and He is on my side.

My life is His and He may shape me as He wishes.